Look, it’s basically a choice between two flavors of mental illness.

​On one side, you’ve got Doge. He’s the “Live, Laugh, Love” sign of the internet. A sentient loaf of bread that thinks he’s going to the moon in a cardboard box. He’s wholesome, he’s fluffy, and he probably still thinks “epic fail” is peak comedy. It’s like investing in a hug from a dog that eats its own farts.

​Then there’s Pepe. A green, bug-eyed swamp creature that looks like he’s been staring at a microwave for 72 hours straight. He doesn’t want “much wow.” He wants to vibrate in a dark room until the global economy feels uncomfortable.

​One is a Good Boy who needs a nap; the other is a radioactive gremlin who’s one bad trade away from becoming a supervillain. Pick your poison: the golden retriever energy or the absolute swamp-brain.

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